Vocation, integrity, born again.

May 20, 2009 by Pastor Dan.

I had a brief conversation last night at a Love Honor Cherish event with Father Geoff Farrow, the courageous priest who came out last fall and was expelled from his parish because he would not, in conscience, echo the bishop’s order that the faithful all vote in favor of Proposition 8.

When is the right time to speak up, or to remain silent? This is one of the eternal questions of human integrity, and no matter what generation or century you live in, there are things over which some people will trip and fall headlong away from their own inner sense of who they are and what is important in life. Our culture doesn’t provide opportunities for people to lift up their own values, or speak about them easily. Our culture itself has little integrity left, when it comes to values (unless you count right-wing flag waving which I don’t).

Integrity is perhaps the tap root of genuine ministry as well, as Father Geoff fully knows. When we counsel people —and many times the counsel is quite informal, rather than scheduled and deliberate behind closed doors— what people are listening for in a priest or pastor is not necessarily the religious or doctrinal “party line.” They are listening for our integrity: to hear how we inwardly weigh and process the decisions that we all face as human beings in a dehumanizing culture.

Fr. Geoff mentioned those priests who left the ministry but never moved out of the rectory. Their genuine ministry ends when they loose their integrity. (Fr. Geoff had started packing up his personal effects in the rectory before he came out and spoke to the media about being gay.)

I had an opposite experience years ago. I was outed in my previous parish—but secretly so that the rumor was going around but nobody would tell me what they were being told. I was forced to resign over other petty complaints. So I left the professional ministry, the paycheck side of the equation, but was not finished with my inner sense of vocation or calling to be in ministry. So for many years I kept teaching, writing and preaching whenever I could while I worked in an ordinary office job.

From the day I left that parish, I determined I would never go back into the closet, even if I never went back into the professional Lutheran ministry. It was how I preserved my sense of integrity. And in the years since, I am convinced that coming out as a Lesbian/gay, bisexual, transgender, queer or whatever sexual minority and telling one’s story, is the most important thing we can do to preserve our sanity and integrity, and to change the world. In fact, in a society where personal integrity is not highly valued (we left countless politicians do as they please and weasel out of it any way they can just to get their names off the front page quickly), the one bright spot or the moral high ground for humanity and personal integrity is our movement to come out and tell our stories honestly even at high personal cost.

Without your integrity, said Father Geoff last night, “it’s like your death, on a lay-away plan.” Your humanity, your life, is being given up a little bit at a time. But coming out and choosing to have integrity, if you ask me, is kind of like being born again.

(Father Geoff blogs at www.FatherGeoff.com.)

—Pastor Dan Hooper

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