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April 10, 2009 by Dan Hooper.
About a year ago a young Muslim man came to my office to learn more about the Christian faith. (I blogged about this once before~ June 3, 2008) I was taken by surprise, and thought to myself, “Oh God, where to begin?” But we have several deep conversations. He helped me begin by asking me, “How did Jesus die?”—something which many Muslims have never been told about.
Today is Maundy Thursday. In this Holy Week, Christians recall the events of the final days of Jesus’ life, and especially his betrayal, arrest, mock trial and condemnation to death. Those events are fully told in the Gospels. But in the ancient prophesies, there are a series of “Servant Songs” in the book of Isaiah which Christians have recognized since the earliest times as prophetic of the suffering and death of Jesus.
In reading this passage from Isaiah 53:1–9, I began to imagine some parallels between the rejection and hatred of Jesus and the rejection (and secret suffering) of lesbian, gay or transgender people who also feel despised and hurt —especially young people who don’t have enough perspective on life yet to be able to stand up to homophobia and hatred:
2 For he grew up before him like a young plant, and like a root out of dry ground; he had no form or majesty that we should look at him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
I can feel the hatred in their eyes, because they look at my like I’m some kind of freak. I’m only a teenager, and already my life is a mess!
3 He was despised and rejected by others; a man of suffering and acquainted with infirmity; and as one from whom others hide their faces he was despised, and we held him of no account.
This torture inside of me has been going on for a long time. I just knew I was different since I was a little kid. And no matter how I have tried to be good or to conform or “fit in,” people either disliked me or completely ignored me, like I’m not even a human being.
4 Surely he has borne our infirmities and carried our diseases; yet we accounted him stricken, struck down by God, and afflicted.
When they find out you’re queer, the first thing they think is like, “He’s got AIDS! Get away from me you fag!” And, “God is punishing you for being so gay!” Sometimes I have been hit or shoved into the wall. Once they kicked me.
5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the punishment that made us whole, and by his bruises we are healed.
They think that by treating me with hate they are somehow better, like “holier-than-thou.” They think that by beating up on me or shouting obscenities, somehow they are more human that I am. Like, the guys are insecure about their masculinity, so they want to hurt me to prove they are “real” men.
6 All we like sheep have gone astray; we have all turned to our own way, and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.
I can’t help it, Lord, but I feel like you have let all this hatred come down on me. I cannot carry this load, Lord. People say you never give us a load we cannot carry, but I can’t carry the load of hatred that has been put on my back.
7 He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth.
So how am I supposed to remain quiet, and be nice to people who talk about me behind my back? Am I supposed to just let them hate me, be cruel, abuse me and kill me like they did to Matthew Shepard and Lawrence King and Gwen Araujo?
8 By a perversion of justice he was taken away. Who could have imagined his future? For he was cut off from the land of the living, stricken for the transgression of my people.
I’ve heard about guys who went to jail “on a morals charge” just because they were gay! And anti-gay violence is getting worse. We are being killed just for being who we are!
9 They made his grave with the wicked and his tomb with the rich, although he had done no violence, and there was no deceit in his mouth.
O God, I feel like I could die. I mean, I feel dead, because people wish I was dead!! Protect me, and help me to not to go crazy. I want to live. you gave me life. Help me to go one living until there is better day, and not to hate those people back because they hate me. Help me to survive!!

—Pastor Dan Hooper, Los Angeles
Posted in Homophobia, Gay Catechism, Violence, HIV and AIDS, Bible & Interpretation, PRAYERS, Faith, LGBT Christian, Coming Out | Print | No Comments »